It has been a while
since I found the courage to post. I have focused a lot of my attention on
myself... What makes me solid, what makes me smile, and who I am really want to
be... This journey has definitely had its ups and downs. Life has a funny way of
throwing you a knuckle ball, just when you need an eye opener.
It has been a month
since my accident. I have been home for two weeks. I have yet to cook. When I
see fire on the TV, I start crying. When I see someone burned, I start to
shake. When I see a woman in shorts, I get jealous. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I am
smiling when I wake up every morning and when I go to bed.
When I have these
feelings, I feel them. They are real. It is okay. It is part of the process of
healing. Accept myself and allow for the hurting or feeling frightened or
nervous… BUT I feel them, accept them, hang out with that feeling for a
minute... I think about how much energy do I want to give to the negative nat
flying around in my head.
My body is not
working the way I am use to. I walk funny or have funky posture. The skin on my
leg is tight. I cannot walk for long period of time. I got frustrated when the
yoga dvd my friend sent me was too hard. I couldn’t believe it! When I lived in
Baltimore, I use to do yoga three times a week. Ahhhh…
Out of sheer
frustration, I had to come up with some sort of workout. I have made for myself
a gradual yoga process out of flash cards. I started with just 10 or so seated
poses. Just doing these ten poses holding them for 10 seconds was a challenge.
A challenge that pushed me… A few days of those and I added and additional 10
seated poses. Few more days… standing poses added in.
Today, I added the
back poses and final relaxation. I did these 30 poses and held each pose and
each side for 4 breaths in and out. Took a break. Had tea. Drank water. I set a
goal for myself to do this series of poses and hold each pose and each side for
10 breaths in and out. I showed up at the plate today and ended up practicing
for an hour and a half.
I love the way as I
breathe in through my nose the air is cool. As I exhale, the warms in my mouth
and rushes out of my nose. I can feel the layers in my body opening up and
releasing. Feeling for the balance front to back and left to right. How my hips
are pointed. The way my belly expanse as I breathe in. Exhaling… trying to push
my bellybutton all the way to my spine. As my I breathe in and out, I am
releasing my muscles, my tension and soreness, relaxing my face, and letting my
focus and attention be on my breath.
This is what I would
like to leave you with tonight… Life can be rough and turbulent. That is life.
Finding a way to ride these turbulent waves until they turn into white water is
what makes for part of the journey. Wake in the morning, be thankful, smile,
and make each day happy. Everyone has a choice. What will yours be?
~It’s all about the journey!
