Fear

The fear of opening up to someone, for me is great...

Thank you for caring enough to drive over here after you were already home. I know I have very strong emotions. It's a lot to handle, for everyone, including me. I hope that they did not completely scare you away. I know you have a lot on your plate and I don't want my eruptions to weigh you down. You are to special to me and for me to be the source of any pain.

Guess the stuff I am working on in therapy is starting to really unravel some of my core issues. To get to this point in my life where I am able to identify how I am feeling and why, has been challenging. I am glad I am here!!! This is how I will be able to have the life I want. The mud is getting thick... Do you have your galoshes? 

I know, although it may not appear so, I am so ready to let this stuff go and move on. This pain, fear, loneliness, lack of confidence, self belittling... I do not want this in my life anymore! I will not allow this to run in the background. I want my processor to run on joy and peace within myself. The mask of happiest needs to be smashed, so that my face, flesh, and bones can truly express how I feel in my core.

I would love for you to join me in this journey. It may not always be sunshine and unicorns, but it will have a happy ending. I want to let it all go and be happy with you. Life is far too short for us to be carrying all of this weight on our shoulders. Let's float in the clouds of inner peace and joy together.