I think that reality has finally started to set in. The past few years I felt like I was walking through quicksand all the time. As soon as my footing would be strong, I would start to slide back into the thickness of the murky sand.
I currently do not have anything life altering going on. What...? I have nothing life altering going on right now! I cannot believe that those words are running through my mind. Then, like the sound for THX at the movie theater, it hit me. The past few years are finally behind me.
The light that shines ahead is very bright. There is a lightness about my movements through the day. I do not feel afraid anymore. I have managed to get through some of the toughest experiences and I did not have a break down.
Who is this person I have become? Have I finally seen some of my self worth? Do I believe that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to? Am I able to understand that no matter what, it will always be okay?
I could not be able to answer, YES to those questions without therapy. I feel that we are in a culture where therapy is frowned upon. This blows my mind. If someone knows they can comfortably go and get help without being judged, we would have far less acts of rage. I openly talk about my experience in therapy. I have had almost all positive experiences with it. But... I have always wanted to feel better.
Everyone I should know I will never judge you and always support you. I will always do my best to be honest with myself first, so that I can be honest with you. Everything I say, even if it feels harsh, is meant with love and respect. Know that I believe you have a great life, I will always look out for you.
These are core, fundemental elements that make me who I am. I care for people and I am also realistic. I treat people with respect and apologies if I temporally do not. I love people near me. I encourage those who need it. All of this is coming for a thirty minute walk outside this morning. BOOM... I have to get back to my roots when I am feel a little not myself. Nature and my soul are connected. Without it, I fall apart.
Dear Nature- I am sorry I've ignored you! I was feeling not awesome and forgot how you are always there for me. You will be see a lot more of me. Hope you are ready for an adventure! Love always- Jocelyn <3
No comments:
Post a Comment