Do OR do not, there is no try...

Yoda, life is not black and white... There are shades of grey in between.

We are these fragile beings. Something that is tiny to one person, may very well be massive to the next. It can take us back to a memory of something we are not even sure we know what the memory is. But our mind has the emotional response to, whatever the issue maybe, and we totally freak out.

Sometimes it's our mind's actions that cause the chain reaction. A familiar tone, smell, word... We're unaware that it is coming from ourselves, so we immediately believe it's the other person has done something to make us feel this way.

I ask myself these types of questions everyday. I know some of my neuroses comes from within. Primarily when talking about relationships or the excitement of meeting someone new. It's pretty damn hard for me to play it cool. And to be quite frank, I am tired of having to hold in my excitement. I like the idea of get swept away for a while; the whole time consciously evaluating the situation. 

I hate the no call, no text responses. Even thought I am sure I have done it myself. I am not looking to get married tomorrow! Shit, I am not looking for a boyfriend. Just looking to have causal interactions with someone on a "normal" (whatever that means) basis. A "get to know you better situation." But we don't allow ourselves to get to know each other anymore. So many people leave things ambiguous because of the fear of black and white. 

Let just get real for a minute, just like those notes I use to pass along to someone in the hallway while in school (circle one):

• Do you like me? yes/no
• Would you like to spend more time with me? yes/no
• Does it scare you? yes/no
• Would it be cool if we hung out a few times a month? yes/no
• Are you capable of letting go of whatever didn't work out in the past?  yes/no
• Are able to stop being scared? yes/no
• Are you ready to see the shades of grey? yes/no

Life is like a multiple choice test. There is a right answer, a wrong answer, and then two answers that kinda seem right but we're not sure. C is the most commonly correct answer. Just don't pick the door with Godzilla standing behind it. He might eat you up.

~currently riding head high, choppy swell